


The Club Fic That Saved Me During Finals

by hopeless_aromantic, The_Unoriginal_Sinner



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Clubbing Fic, F/M, It's Dumb, but satisfying, it's just my first time showing it to people, just go with it, this ain't my first rodeo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-05-29 09:29:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6369340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeless_aromantic/pseuds/hopeless_aromantic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Unoriginal_Sinner/pseuds/The_Unoriginal_Sinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adrien knows, and he thinks that if Ladybug doesn’t like Chat, maybe he can get Marinette to like Adrien. (silly boy). So he invites the squad out to a fancy as fuck night club for general shenanigans and frivolity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The exposition part

**Author's Note:**

> To all who enter here: 
> 
> basically this is just something I thought up to keep me from keeling over during my animation finals this winter. Thinking about these sweet kids getting smashed and nasty really kept me motivated.
> 
> I’ve never thought much of my writing skills but I’ve decided that this fandom just isn’t quite as depraved as it could be. So why not bring some of my sinful brain ramblings to you all!
> 
> I don't know why it's not letting me write a chapter summary but basically this is where Adrien is a privileged twinkie who gets invited places by creepy dudes. And Marinette has like 8 panic attacks and Nino is a scrub.
> 
> This would not have happened (with correct punctuation) without my editors, My lovely Beta, @hopeless_aromantic, and one of my amazing and talented mermaid friends who shall remain nameless. Beta has some great gravity falls plans in the works so keep a look out for that, ya nasties.
> 
> Well anyway please enjoy my contemporary pop-induced whatever the hell

Adrien chewed on his pencil and stared at the door to the classroom.  It had been three weeks since his fateful study session with Marinette in the library. Three weeks since he’d discovered Tiki hiding in her backpack. Three weeks since he’d sworn the kwami to secrecy and began calculating his next move. Three weeks spent formulating the plan he was finally going to set in motion today.

However, it had been only one week since he’d found his golden opportunity at an afterparty for the Agreste fall fashion preview. He’d sparked up a conversation with a very friendly and engaging man with a snake tattoo who, at the end of their discussion, revealed himself as Louis Richarde, the owner of a very exclusive Parisian club, Fumeé et Miroirs. Richarde invited Adrien to the club any time and ensured he’d receive first class treatment. When he said that any of Adrien’s friends would be welcome as well, Adrien knew what his move would be. If Marinette was so disinterested in Chat Noir, maybe he could sweep her off her feet as Adrien Agreste.  
     
The sound of Alya’s uproarious laughter jolted Adrien back to the present. She entered the room arm in arm with Marinette, shaking with giggles at something Marinette must have said. Nino sauntered in behind them, nose to his phone. Adrien’s eyes danced rapidly around the group as they slid into their seats. He turned in his chair to face Nino while drumming his fingers on the table. “So listen, Nino!” he started, perhaps a little louder than necessary “I uh, met the owner of Fumée et Miroirs at my Dad’s show the other night...and he’s got my name on the VIP list for this weekend–”  
     
“Shut the FUCK UP! Are you KIDDING ME MAN!? Fumee et Miroirs is like the most exclusive club in Paris!! It is my DREAM to DJ there!!” Nino’s eyes had grown as wide as his glasses.  
     
Adrien grinned with a little more confidence “Well yeah, I mean...of course my dad totally forbid me from going but...I don’t know. He’s been pissing me off so much lately, more so than usual, so I’m feeling kind of adventurous. I wanna sneak out!” His smile was now full faced and dangerously Chat-like, “Louis said I could bring as many guests as I want. So, you in?”  
     
Nino cheered with joy “Hell YES oh my god!!” Then, narrowing his eyes and taking Adrien by the shoulders, “WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ADRIEN??”  
     
Laughing, Adrien turned to address the girls, “Alya, M-marinette, you guys definitely have to come!” Thankfully, Alya was already on the edge of her seat with excitement, and ignored his split second stutter.  
     
“Are you kidding me Adrien? This is un-REAL! Yes we are SO GOING OUT THIS WEEKEND!”  
     
Adrien tried to steady his thumping heart and looked at Marinette. She was red in the face and her wide eyes were planted firmly on her notebook. He took a shuddery breath. “What about you Marinette?” He questioned gently. Marinette’s eyes flitted quickly up to meet his, before returning to her notebook. Adrien knew that in her everyday life, Marinette lacked Ladybug’s staggering confidence; she had a shy side and he loved that, but now he was suddenly terrified that she would say–  
     
“Umm..I don’t know, I’ve never been to a club before...” His heart sank, and she did not look up.  
     
“So WHAT girl?” Alya interjected “It’ll be good for you! And...it would mean a lot to Adrien if you came!”  
     
A truer word had never been spoken. It would mean the world to him. Adrien did his best to send Marinette the most beaming smile he could muster, “It would.” His heart swelled when her blue eyes met his, this time holding contact for just a moment longer.  
     
She looked back at Alya, and at Nino, before planting her hands against her flushed cheeks and stuttering “Okay, okay! Yes, I will come!” Alya whooped (only half as loud as Adrien did on the inside) and wrapped her bright-red friend in a smothering hug.  
     
Adrien, hoping he wasn’t blushing as well, took a few deep breaths before wrapping up phase one.“Awesome! Okay, Nino and I will pick you guys up, where–”  
     
Alya cut him off “Oh we’ll be getting ready at Mari’s bakery, you can pick us both there!” Marinette squeaked in agreement, or maybe in fear.  
     
“Right. So, we’ll be there at 11:15?”

“Parfait!!”

Adrien spent the rest of class in a daze, coming up with ridiculous scenarios in his head, each one more outrageous than the last, all ending with Marinette swooning in his arms. And some... _‘well, let’s not get carried away’_ he scolded.  
     
When the bell finally rang, he gathered his things and trotted out the door with Nino. “See you guys tonight!” He waved at the girls and shot Marinette another model smile. When they turned the corner, he let out a huge sigh of relief. He did it. He did it! And she was going to be there. He was going on a date with Ladybug, and if he didn’t fuck it up, he might just leave with a girlfriend.

\-----------------

Marinette paced back and forth on the lower level of her bedroom. T minus 45 minutes until Nino and Adrien came to her house where she lives to pick up her and Alya to go clubbing. She stopped in her tracks and started clenching and unclenching her hands.

Keeping her gaping, half-mascara’d eyes locked on the mirror, Alya called over to her obviously panicking friend, “Girl, you need to calm down. Tonight is about letting loose and relaxing! Something you never do.”

“Exactly!!” Marinette leaned over Alya’s shoulder, trying to recognize her own reflection in the mirror, which boasted of Alya’s makeup talent–she looked beautiful and confident–which was the opposite of how she felt. “I never do this! I have no idea what I’m doing! This is going to be a complete disaster!”

Alya shut her mascara wand and spun around to face Marinette. “Oh no it won’t. I’m not going to let you ruin the best night of my life.” Her expression softened and she rested a comforting hand on Marinette’s drooping shoulder “And I’m not gonna let you ruin the best night of your life either.” Grinning again, she led marinette into the center of the room. “I mean think about it!! Tonight is the night, Marinette!”

 _‘What was she talking about?_ ’ Marinette stared blankly at her friend, who huffed in mock annoyance “Tonight is your chance to get Adrien to fall hopelessly in love with you!”

Marinette’s shoulders drooped even further. Of course she had realized how… potentially romantic the evening could be, but that was exactly why she was panicking. “Alya… there’s no way that’s gonna happen. I’m too...I have no idea what to do.”

Alya smiled and pinched her cheek jokingly, “Well that’s why you’ve got your Slutty Godmother here to teach you! She left Marinette to groan in embarrassment and went to plug her ipod into Marinette’s speaker system. Girly, thumping music poured into the room. “Okay, lesson number one: Dancing.” Marinette was terrified. “This is by far the most important, guys think that the way you dance is the way you have sex.”

Scratch that, Marinette was dead. Her brain completely fizzled out and stopped paying attention to Alya’s ‘pop one hip and roll your body’ demonstration. She knew she couldn’t do this, as soon as Adrien so much as looked at her she would stop dancing, suffer a stroke and have to be rushed to the hospital. She. Was. _Dead_.

Alya obviously noticed her teachings were being ignored, so she stopped and grabbed a startled Marinette by the wrists. “Ohhhkay, just shake it out! Stop thinking! Close your eyes and enjoy the music” Marinette obeyed, shutting her eyes and releasing all anxious thoughts. Alya had picked some upbeat female empowerment pop song, nothing like Jagged Stone’s music, but it was actually pretty catchy.

“Okay, now just try swaying your body in time to the rhythm.” Marinette found herself actually relaxing, she imagined she was bobbing in a crystal blue ocean. “Good! Now, bend your knees just a little, and roll your hips in little circles.” Alya plopped down on Marinette’s chaise lounge and pulled out her phone, like a lazy dance instructor.

But Marinette was in her own world now, a bubbly synthesized world where lyrics didn’t have to make sense as long as they rhymed.

Alya called out to her again when the song changed. “Well you seem to have the hang of it, the next step is dancing with a partner.” Marinette froze, the icy grip of death seizing her heart. Abort!

“Oh don’t worry about it so much,” Alya waved her hand. “It’s basically doing the same moves, just bend your knees and mirror your hip rolls to his and, if he’s any good, he’ll  just follow your pace. And grinding is super easy, all guys wants you to do is rub your butt against their junk.”

Marinette grabbed her face “Oh my god Alya can we move on now please?” She searched desperately for a new subject “Who are you texting?  
     
“Nino. I asked him what he’s wearing, he said he’s borrowing stuff from Adrien.” She glanced at the pile of clothes Marinette had picked out. “Marinette...what panties are you going to wear?”

Marinette looked down at her pajamas. She couldn’t remember what underwear she’d put on this morning but, ‘ _underpants are underpants_ ’ . “Um...these I guess?” She looked up under Alya’s disapproving gaze.

“What? A nude bra and package panties?” She barked. “No way.” Alya rose from the chaise and strode to Marinette’s dresser, throwing open the underwear drawer and rifling through its contents “Tonight calls for a matching set. For confidence!”

Embarrassed though she was, Marinette did have to admit Alya had a point. And she knew exactly which pair inspired her confident side. “Well, these are my favorite.” She reached underneath the pile of panties and drew out a bright red bra and underpants, speckled with black dots and trimmed with lace. “They...make me feel like Ladybug.” She blushed. A small truth concealing a bigger lie. Wearing these matching dotted panties did make her feel a little bit more in tune with her super heroine persona. And tonight, she needed all of Ladybug’s bravery that she could summon.

“Oh my god Marinette!” Alya squealed “Those are adorable!”

“What underwear are you wearing?” Marinette asked. A guilty look spread across Alya’s face.

“Ehhhh,”

“Alya?”

Alya looked around with mock coyness before stating point blank, “Well, when you’ve been dating as long as Nino and I have, it’s just a time saver.”  
     
Marinette stuck out her tongue “Bleah! Oh _yikes_ Alya T.M.I!” She did not want to think about that ever again.

Alya laughed at Marinette’s discomfort, then leaned in wiggling her eyebrows. “Well hey, with luck we’ll both be getting laid tonight!” She reached into her pocket and handed Marinette a hot pink square of plastic. Marinette studied it and then yelled in shock.

“AH ALYA! NO!”

“Ohh come on you big baby, just put it in your purse!”

“Ew, is this cherry flavored?”

“Hey, whatever helps amiright?” Alya waggled her eyebrows some more. But upon seeing Marinette’s genuinely terrified expression, she relaxed and put on her ‘serious business face.’ “Look Mari, you don’t have to sleep with Adrien. But relax!” She put her hands on Marinette’s shoulders. “You will win his heart tonight. You look gorgeous, you’re the sweetest girl in the world and he totally set this up to get close to you!”

Marinette crossed her arms. “It’s not a double date Alya, all four of us are friends.”

“Marinette!” Alya tilted her chin up, forcing eye contact. But her expression was soft. “Stop thinking that he can’t want you, or he never will. Have a little faith in yourself. Okay?” Marinette nodded and allowed herself to be pulled in for a boob-smothering hug.

Pulling away, Alya was back to business. “Alright! Go get changed and meet me back here for mandatory selfies!”  

Once dressed, Marinette returned to Alya to appraise themselves in the mirror and snap some glamorous selfies on Alya’s phone.  
  


The loose t-shirt dress Marinette had picked out was not as ‘sexy’ as the slim fitting “That Red Thing I Like” Alya had on, per Nino’s request, but it made her feel cute. And she’d paired it with some polka-dot stockings, hoping that the number of dots on her body directly corresponded to her level of confidence.

As Alya was adjusting her cleavage into the shot, a new text alert from **[DJ Bootycall]** shot across their faces like a censor bar. “Oooh!! The boys are here!! Let’s go!” After snapping one more picture, the girls threw open the trapdoor and bounded down the stairs.

Trying not to panic, Marinette fussed with the loose hairs at the base of her neck. “Uhhhgg!! My hair won’t stay up in this bun!! Mamon!!!!” She called out in frustration.  
Her mother leapt up off the couch as she and Alya descended into the kitchen. “Ohhh, you girls look so beautiful! Hold on Marinette, I’ve got it” She rifled something out of her purse on the counter and used it to pin up the stray hairs. “There. Have a look.”

Marinette whipped out a compact to reflect the back of her head in the living room mirror. Her shorter hairs were daintily pinned up by a little pink bow hair clip. “Oh.” She liked it.

“Wow Mrs. Cheng. That’s actually adorable.”

The three of them flitted into the bakery where Marinette’s father was waiting, arms crossed. “I don’t like this.” He stated gruffly as soon as they entered.

“Oh Honey, they’re young!” Her mother crooned. “Let them live and have fun! Besides, they’ve got two nice boys to watch out for them.”

“That’s what I don’t like.”

Marinette leaned up to plant a kiss on her father’s cheek before letting Alya drag her to the door. “Au revoir Papa!”

“Hrumpf.”  
     
“Bye Mr and Mrs. Dupain-Cheng!”

Marinette could barely breathe, but there was no stopping it now. Here she was being shoved out the door, to where Adrien would be waiting.

\-----------

“Stop being so model-y dude just smile normal.”

“I am being normal, this is my normal face!”

Adrien tried to morph his expression into whatever Nino accepted as ‘normal’ as he peered down at his friend’s cellphone screen.

  
“Okay now you just look constipated.”

Adrien was about to retort when the front door of the Dupain-Cheng’s bakery opened. His heart skipped a beat, or four, as Marinette glided towards them. She looked beautiful. Her hair was pulled up and her makeup made her blue eyes glow brighter than he previously thought possible. _‘But..’_ his brain restarted in panic. “Wait!... We were going to come to the door!” He waved his arms, trying to rewind the situation. “We were going to knock and introduce ourselves like you’re supposed to!” This was wrong, he wanted to be a perfect gentleman and smile at Marinette’s parents. He wanted it to be like a real date!

Nino threw an arm around his shoulders “Well maybe if you didn’t suck at taking selfies we would have had time.” He could be a real scrub when he was showing off for Alya.

“Oh don’t worry about it Adrien,” Alya waved a hand “Besides, I don’t think Mr. Dupain is ready for that.” she winked.

 _‘Noo no no!’_ That’s exactly why Adrien needed to introduce himself, to prove that he was trustworthy. _‘Not that I have a way with fathers.’_

“Well may I say you ladies are looking absolutely fine this evening.” Shit. Nino beat him to compliments, ‘get your head out of your ass Agreste’.

“I know, we’re fucking fabulous! And you boys clean up pretty well, damn Adrien, are those leather pants?”

“Haha, uh yeah.” He did feel comfortable in black leather. And it helped that they were perfectly tailored to fit him since he wore them in a show last winter.

“We raided Adrien’s Dad’s storeroom of old clothes!!” Nino spun around excitedly, showing off his sweats and high tops. “My outfit is more expensive than Chloe Bourgeois’ nose!!”

“Wow.” Marinette, who had been quiet as a mouse this whole time, looked them up and down. “Agreste Winter collection of last year... and the spring athletics line from two years ago?”

“Yeah. That’s incredible.” Adrien forgot how much she knew about the industry. She blushed.

“That is so crazy! Adrien, won’t your dad totally kill you for this?” Alya never missed a beat did she?

“Yes. _If_ he finds out.” Adrien opened the limo door for the girls and followed after them.

“He’s gone a little crazy this evening actually.” Nino clambered into the car after him and shut the door. “I’d be worried, if I wasn’t benefiting from his insanity.” Once they were all settled comfortably, Adrien tapped on the divider and the Gorilla pulled onto the road.

“Tell them how you got the car for tonight” Nino laughed, propping his pricey sneakers up on the pristine leather seats.

Adrien cleared his throat, shoving down the hint of guilt he felt. “Well, usually The Gorilla–er, my driver, gets a bonus at this time of year. But, this year my dad...didn’t think it was necessary? So...I offered him the money in exchange for driving us and not saying anything about it?” Nino laughed wildly and Adrien wanted to call the whole thing off.

“Oh my GOSH, Adrien! Bribery?” Alya reached out to place a hand on his knee “You have never been more cool.” She leaned back to Marinette. “Right Marinette? How badass is that?”

Marinette stared at Adrien in awe and he held his breath for her response, “Yeah...totally badass.” Suddenly Adrien was no more, in his place was Adrien the badass, in leather pants. In his place was Chat Noir, who could do whatever he wanted and take beautiful girls to expensive clubs.

“I did something else too,” He remembered, rebellion supercharging his excitement. “It’s not Pastis or Kir but I snagged some champagne to substitute as an aperitif.”

Nino snatched the bottle out of his hands. “SHIT Adrien, Is this Dom Perignon? This stuff is like £300 per bottle! He ripped the foil off the top and uncorked the bottle.

Adrien grabbed the bottle back and poured them each a glass. Marinette took hers hesitantly and stared into the bubbly contents.

“You don’t have to drink any if you don’t want to.” He spoke in a soft voice to her. But Marinette met his eyes with conviction, and downed the champagne in one go. “Oh! Uh..okay then.” Now he was in awe of her daring. She wiped her chin and they both laughed.

“YEAH MARINETTE!!” Alya downed her glass as well and reached for the bottle. “Adrien! Tell the monkey to open the sun roof!”

“Hah, no need, there’s a button right here actually.” Adrien opened the small window on the roof and Alya immediately stood up, poking her torso outside the car. “WOOOOOO! QUOI DE NEUF PARIS?! JE BOIS DU CHAMPAGNE”

“Oh my gosh Alya! Sit down!” Marinette laughed, a real, full laugh. How could Adrien not hear Ladybug in her voice before? It was so obvious now he felt like an idiot. He sipped at his champagne, watching her stare out the window at the lights of Paris. They danced across her face and lit up her eyes. Boy was she something.

Adrien felt he could barely breathe with the anticipation and excitement. He couldn't tell if it was the euphoria of teenage rebellion, the bubbly champagne doing its work, or the increasing frequency of intense glances Marinette was throwing his way– but whatever it was, he liked it.

The bottle of champagne was nearing empty just as Alya finished belting her favorite femme fatale pop song through the moonroof, preambling the limo's slowing to a stop as The Gorilla pulled up in front of Fumeé et Miroirs. Adrien leaned forward to open the divider “You can take the rest of the night off, we’ll Uberpop home.” The Gorilla grunted in reply.

Adrien followed Nino out of the car and turned around to help Marinette step out, offering his hand. She took it, and the nerves in his palm lit up. Surely he’d touched Marinette before, but...knowing that this was Ladybug’s ungloved hand was so foreign and exciting. They shared a smile before he released her hand to approach the bouncer.

“Excuse me, Adrien Agreste and three guests?” The six foot tall, 250lb bouncer pulled out a black smartphone and glanced at it. “Enjoy your evening.” He growled, pushing open the door for them.

“After you guys!” He gestured to his crew. Alya and Nino whooped and bounded through the door, Adrien followed behind Marinette.

\-------------


	2. Dirty Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DJ Wifi shocks everyone, Adrien gets sweaty and Marinette and Alya fish for drinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright alright alright! Time to plug in those headphones and turn on your favorite dance music!!  
> This chapter and the following were both written while listening to garish contemporary pop, but I say pick whatever you love. (because they'd be listening to french music anyway)
> 
> So yeah, double chapter update because I wasn't sure how long this section would be and If I just gave you the first half you'd be bored as hell.
> 
> Thanks again to my peachy keen Beta's, hopeless_aromantic >> http://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeless_aromantic and Miranda Aquamarine Felicity Bubble. 
> 
> If you've never seen the movie "Dirty Dancing" this scene is a strong recommendation. but you don't have to, I just worship it. >>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijK0WTB_-RY
> 
> Enjoy, ya nasties. <3 The Unoriginal Sinner

Marinette followed Nino and Alya down a small, dark hallway. She could hear thumping coming through the air ahead of them, and felt it vibrating under her feet. They stepped through the heavy door at the end of the hall and Marinette’s senses were immediately bombarded with overstimulation.

They were standing in what might have once been a large warehouse, but it had been redone such that it more resembled a giant black cave. Black curtains hung over every wall, framing the black marble floors. On the rightmost side of the room the dance floor pulsed and ebbed like a pool of glowing blue bioluminescence.

Above them, the ceiling hung high, criss crossed by metal catwalks that supported thousands of colored lights. Spinning and shifting kaleidoscopes that projected psychedelic shapes on the walls, floor, and faces of the writhing dancers. Vibrant beams in jewel tones zig zagging in every direction. Hazy smoke hung in the air, and lit up whenever a beam of light cut through it.

On the left were rows of private tables, all stuffed with high end furniture and guarded by surly men in black t-shirts. And in the far back of the room, a sleek marble and glass bar could barely be seen through the haze.

The music was so incredibly loud that Marinette could feel her skull shake. Nino had to shout to be heard over it. “THIS IS THE COOLEST CLUB I’VE EVER SEEN!! He cheered, spinning slowly to try and take it all in.

He was right, the richness of the decor and the lights were breathtaking, but Marinette was struck with how Adrien looked underneath them. His face was lit up like a child in a candy store, as if he had never seen anything so marvelous in his entire life.  
“THIS IS THE _ONLY_ CLUB I’VE EVER SEEN!” He shouted in reply. Marinette marveled at his wide, glittering eyes and parted lips, how the club lights exaggerated the planes of his jawline and neck. How is it that a plain white shirt could make her weak in the knees? ' _Well...'_ a designer shirt, perfectly tailored to every line of his body.

“FUCKING SHIT LOOK AT THAT SOUND SYSTEM!” Nino had noticed the colossal DJ platform at the edge of the dance floor. It looked like it was made of individual glass cubes, each one glowing with a color changing internal light. “I’M IN HEAVEN!” He clawed at his face.  
     
“YOU!?!” Alya challenged, “THEY’RE PLAYING MY SONG!! COME ON I WANT TO DANCE!” She took Nino and Marinette by the arm, dragging them towards the center of the dance floor. Marinette glanced back and saw Adrien following them, still grinning ear to ear.

Alya had never looked more at home anywhere in her life. Nino was still preoccupied with ogling the sound board, but that didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest. She just started dancing on her own. And she looked great.

Granted, she had a lot more... substance to work with. And heaps of confidence. She rolled her hips and arched her back just right, showing off all her assets. Marinette admired her for all of these reasons and wished she could be as carelessly confident.

Next to her, Adrien started jumping in time to the beat and pumping his fist in the air. It occurred to Marinette that maybe he had no idea how to dance either. This helped relax her and she began to leap and twirl to the music. They exchanged a look of glee and laughed as they danced.

Marinette registered a shape walking up behind Alya and she thought Nino had finally come to join them, but when she turned she saw it was some muscly guy with a bright green silk shirt on.

He leaned in towards Alya and crooned to her “Hey girl, you move so well I just had to come up and talk to you...” ' _What a creep!'_

Without even stopping to look at her admirer, Alya called out “THANK YOU STRANGE MAN, BUT THIS BOOTY IS SPOKEN FOR!”

Suddenly, Nino materialized out of thin air, “YEP. BY ME! THIS GUY RIGHT HERE, THAT’S MY BOOTY.” He stepped between Alya and the douchey prowler, who crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

“Tchh. Yeah whatever.” He sauntered away, disappearing into the crowd.

Staking claim of his “booty”, Nino threw a hand around Alya’s stomach and pulled her against his lap. Immediately they found a rhythm together, rocking from side to side in time to the pounding beat. They were so comfortable. ' _And way more experienced than you’_ Marinette reminded herself.  
     
“UM.” Adrien called out over the music, scratching his head in that signature model pose. “SO DO YOU WANT TO DANCE?” _‘oh my god oh my god, pull yourself together Marinette, this is it!’_

“OKAY.”

For a moment they just stared at each other, it seemed like neither of them really knew how to begin. They started a kind of awkward two step, looking at each other and *grinning like idiots*. Marinette wished the dance floor _was_ an underground lake so she could be swallowed up by the murky water. After what felt like an eternity of uncomfortable, Adrien hesitantly reached out one hand to hold hers.

Marinette stared at their tangled fingers, and followed them with her eyes as Adrien brought her hand up to rest on his shoulder. She brought her second hand up on her own, and Adrien placed his hands on her hips. His grip was extremely light, as though Marinette were a priceless vase he didn’t want to damage. But just the ghosting of his hands on her sides was enough to make her stomach flutter.

They smiled at each other again, relaxing into their side to side movement and adding more of a swing to each step. Marinette recalled some of Alya’s advice and put her hips to more use, twisting her spine a little as they swayed before rolling her hips back to center.

Then she made the terrible mistake of glancing over at Nino and Alya for ideas.

Nino had his hands underneath Alya’s ass while she leaned back casually, hands ruffling her hair. They looked connected by their hips, swaying and grinding comfortably as though they weren’t basically dry humping in front of a crowd of strangers. Alya grabbed Nino by the neck of his hoodie and pulled their foreheads together. Bending their knees until they were halfway to the ground.

Marinette’s face lit up like fire and she dipped her chin. Which meant she was suddenly staring at Adrien’s collarbone. Her blush increased when she registered that it was lightly brushed with sweat, light reflecting off the beading moisture. Slowly she lifted her head, expecting to meet his eyes, but he was looking at Alya and Nino as well. His ears were red, and when he looked back at Marinette they exchanged a look of mixed laughter and embarrassment.

Trying to ignore her friends freaking on each other in her peripheral vision, Marinette explored her comfort zone. She dropped one arm from Adrien’s shoulders and followed it with her hips, moving in little circles and very consciously keeping a safe distance from his body.

Adrien immediately matched her movement, keeping one hand on her opposite hip and mirroring the rotation. His grip tightened ever so slightly to keep them connected as they leaned away from each other. Which was good, otherwise Marinette might have fallen backwards.

She felt like her heart had crawled up into her neck. His hand on her side was burning hot, and his eyes were wandering places other than her face. Then again...so were hers, he should definitely wear black more often.

She bit her lip as his brilliant green eyes met her’s once again. Ever so gingerly she began to straighten her back, leaning in towards his heaving chest. His free hand came up and lightly brushed her forearm with the backs of his fingers; his cold ring painting an icy trail up her hot nerves.

\-------------

Adrien felt as though every one of his senses had tripled in strength. The music was unbelievably loud but somehow he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. The lights were blinding but he could see Marinette’s flushed face before him clear as day. They were only connected by one arm each, but everywhere a single one of his molecules touched her, he felt scorched.

They were so close now that the remaining foot of air between them felt like miles. It took all of his will power not to pull her tight against him, sealing that space. _’Respond to her energy,’_ he reminded himself. _‘And let her come to you'._ She was so close.

But all too soon, Alya emerged out of the colorful haze and slammed a hand onto Marinette’s shoulder, forcing her out of Adrien’s grasp. Marinette spun around to face her friend and Adrien wanted to tear his arms off.

Alya threw her hands up apologetically “SORRY, NINO HAS A CRAMP BECAUSE HE IS A PUSSY, WE NEED TO TAP OUT FOR A MINUTE.” Adrien hadn’t noticed Nino standing next to him, he was actually holding his side and looking honestly embarrassed and uncomfortable. The flames in Adrien’s eyes extinguished immediately and he rested a concerned hand on Nino’s shoulder.

“DO YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN? I BET I CAN GET US A BOOTH, I’M A VIP SO I CAN DO THAT RIGHT?” Not really sure if this was within his power, he glanced at Alya for confirmation.

She shrugged. “OKAY YEAH, LET’S TRY THAT.”

He led the gang up to one of the unoccupied private seating areas. This bouncer was only slightly less massive than the one outside the club entrance.

“Ahem. Uh excuse–EXCUSE ME!” He had hoped to remain gentlemanly, but the music was just too loud. “COULD I GET A TABLE FOR MY FRIENDS AND I? MY NAME IS ADRIEN AGRESTE.”

This time the bouncer didn’t even check his list, he smiled and pulled open the velvet rope in front of the stairs. “OF COURSE MR. AGRESTE. MONSIEUR RICHARDE SENDS HIS REGARDS.”

They walked up the marble stairs to the cushy, black leather, three sided sofa. A glitzy chandelier hung low over an oblong glass table. Nino immediately slid headfirst onto the couch, muffling a groan into some plush cushions. Adrien slid behind the table from the other side while Alya and Marinette knelt on some fuzzy white poufs opposite the couch.

Nino lifted his head off the sofa to speak. “I think I need a drink. Can we get bottle service as VIPs?”

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t know? Maybe?” Then a thought occurred to him “Do you think they’d have a cheese plate?”

“Probably! But Marinette and I will take care of the drinks! What do you guys want?” Alya stood up from her pouf and rested a hand on her hip.

Adrien shook his head “No no, you shouldn’t have to pay! This place is expensive and you’re my guests!” But she just laughed

“Oh, no. _We_ won’t be paying for them.” She threw out one arm gesturing to the crowd at the bar. “ _These_ suckers will! So what’ll you have? Just a pinte de blonde for you, Nino?”

Nino threw a thumbs up in the air in agreement. And Alya turned back Adrien.

“Uhh, I’ll just have whiskey...rocks.” He furrowed his brow “But what exactly are you guys doing?” He and Marinette both looked at Alya, she seemed just as confused.

Alya spoke slowly, as if she was describing a simple mathematical problem to two 6 year olds, “We’re going to flirt with guys, get them to buy us drinks, and then leave! It’s easy! We’ll be back in 5 minutes.” She threw an arm around an obviously terrified Marinette and pulled her down and out of the booth.

Adrien helplessly watched them go, unconsciously clenching his fists on his knees. This he did not like. But Nino reassured him from beneath the pillows, “It’s cool man Alya does this all the time. They just bat their lashes and boom, free alcohol”

That didn’t really make him feel any better.

  
\----------------

Marinette feebly clawed at Alya’s vice-like grip on her arm. But she knew there was no refusing her once she had decided something. Alya was a wonderful friend who encouraged Marinette to spread her wings and experiment out of her comfort zone. But sometimes, like now, this could be _terrifying!_

“Alya I really don’t think I’m comfortable with this...” Marinette dropped her voice low into Alya’s ear.

“Marinette, honey. You’ve got to trust me, I know what I’m doing and I would never purposely throw you into a situation where you could get hurt.” Alya cupped her cheek and spoke gently. “These guys aren’t predators, there just lonely losers. We are the Queen Bees and the drones are going to do whatever we want. Besides,” she pinched her cheek and Marinette winced, “If anyone tries anything shady, I’ll roundhouse kick him in the chest!”

Marinette chuckled, rubbing her cheek and nodding, confirming that she was willing to try.

“Now you just stand here and look cute, I’ll go first so you can watch me and see what to do.” Alya positioned Marinette at a table adjacent to the bar and strutted away, making sure to remain within hearing range.

She slid her way next to a wiry looking guy in a sport coat. Flipping her hair and heaving a ridiculously over the top sigh, she drawled “I’m sooo tired of drinking alone.”

Her prey turned to her and flashed a timid smile. “Can I...buy you a drink?”

“Oh my GOSH!” Alya gasped, “THAT IS SO SWEET! I would just LOVE a Pépa! Vodka makes me _so_ giggly.” She was really over-acting, but the poor fool didn’t seem to notice. He flagged down the bartender and ordered the drink.

As soon as Alya had the bright orange cocktail in her grasp, she dropped her girlish smile. “I think I want to drink alone now!”

“Wh-what?”

“BYE!” Alya left the lonely stooge at the bar, scratching his head, and returned to Marinette’s table. She sipped happily at her drink. “See, easy!”

Marinette gawked at her. “But...but that’s so _mean!”_

Alya waved her hand. “Oh please Marinette. These aren’t men, they’re tools. That guy will be hounding after some other girl in minutes.” She turned to scan the bar. “Okay... now watch me get Nino’s drink.”

She took her drink with her and approached another unsuspecting victim. “Eugh!” She took a sip of the icy beverage and turned to address the guy. “Some creep bought me this drink, but It’s too...girly. I need something simple you know? Like just a beer”

The new guy rested his elbow on the bar, sticking out his chest at her. “Well, I think they’ve got Leffe Blonde if that’s good?”

“Yeah that would be great! I just can’t swallow any more of this cognac and vodka crap.” She put her hand on his arm as he ordered her the beer.

“Well thanks for that, man” She picked up the pint “I’ve gotta go, my boyfriend is waiting.” Before he could react, Alya was already back with Marinette, grinning and sipping more pépa. “Okay Marinette, your turn!”

“Uh... I don’t even know what I want to drink” Marinette liked most wine, but fancy cocktails were foreign to her.

“Try a Kir Royale. You’ll like it, it’s just sweet liqueur and champagne.”

Fine. But Marinette was still to nervous to move. She stared at Alya with wide eyes, making a silent plea for mercy.

“Oh come on you’ve got this.” Alya searched the bar and pointed to a short guy in a paisley shirt. “There, that guy can’t weigh more than 50kg soaking wet.”

Marinette took a shuddery breath and put on her best smile. “Okay...I can do this.” Alya pushed her forward and she made her way up to the selected target.

She huffed a short sigh and trailed her finger across the top of the bar. “I’m s–I’m soo sick of drinking alone.” She felt like a moronosaur.

But apparently guys were into that these days. “Could I by you a drink?”

“S-sure! Can I get a...uh...a Kir Royale?”

“Absolutely, beautiful!” Marinette wanted to die. She deserved to die.

The bartender handed her a cherry colored cocktail and Marinette knew it was time to bite the bullet and be a heartless....Queen Bee. “Um...Actually I’d like to drink alone!” she forced out the words.

He looked absolutely stricken, Marinette was about to crack and spew a guilt-ridden apology when a muscular figure clad in green shoved his way between them.

“Hey buddy clear out, She’s done drinking with you.” He stared down the unfortunate paisley shirt guy until he left.

Marinette stared up at the newcomer. He had a strong, chiseled face. He was handsome, but he looked rude, and for some reason he had sunglasses pushed up on his forehead even though they were in a dark club.

He grinned at her and she could count all of his teeth. “You’re welcome, babe. I’m Chevy”

Marinette tried not to grimace. ' _Okay'_ so her next victim had chosen her, easy peasy.  
“Yeah... thanks...Chevy.” She motioned to her cocktail. “He uh, he bought me this drink, but I don’t like it.”

Blatantly staring at her chest, Chevy asked “What would better tickle your tastebuds?”

“Uhm..Whiskey? On the rocks. But you really don’t have to...” Marinette crossed her arms uncomfortably. Luckily, it had the intended effect and Chevy returned his gaze to her face.

“A serious drink for a serious beauty, it would be my pleasure.” He winked at her and threw a hand up in the air “GARÇON! ETAGERE SUPERIEURE WHISKY, S’IL VOUS PLAIT!”

Marinette watched as the bartender grabbed a rectangular glass bottle full of amber liquid from the top shelf behind the bar. He poured some in a short, crystal glass and pushed it towards Marinette, raising his eyebrows. “Bastille 1789, Hand-crafted; the best of the best.” Chevy waved him away before Marinette had a chance to say thank you. Fine, she was eager to get away.

“Well, thank you for the drink, now–”

“Aren’t you going to taste it?” Chevy looked at her expectantly.

Marinette panicked and raised the glass to her lips, taking a small sip. She nearly spat out the bitter drink all over Chevy’s horrible silk shirt. Fighting back tears, Marinette forced down the “best of the best” whisky. Her throat burned but she managed to croak “Y-yum. Thank you.”

Desperately willing saliva to ease the smokey heat in her mouth, she swallowed and continued with the plan. “But, I have to go now. My um...” ' _my boyfriend?'_ “My date is waiting!”

“Your _date?!_ ” Chevy slammed a meaty fist on the table and Marinette jumped.

A red alarm went off in Marinette’s head. _’Oh no. He’s angry’_ This was not a reaction she was prepared for. Suddenly terrified, she began inching away, hand on the bar for support “I’m s-sorry I should have said...”

Chevy didn’t look like he was going to lash out, but he balled his fists. “What _is_ it with the bitches in this place?”

“Alright bro, I need you to clear out and go bother some other ‘bitch’ with your creepy advances” Marinette wasn’t sure where Alya had come from, but she was so glad to see her. And glad that she had pulled out her ‘Cesaire death glare’.

“Man, fuck women.” Chevy turned away from them, throwing his arms up in defeat.

As soon as he was gone, Marinette threw herself against Alya’s chest. “That was horrible.”

Alya wrapped her arms around Marinette’s head. “I’m sorry Marinette! That guy would....not have been my first choice of target.”

“He just came up to me!!”

“I know! He was just looking for an easy girl. So now that he knows you don’t qualify he’ll leave you alone.”

“...Promise?”

“Yes I promise. I know that type, he’s just going to go skulk in a corner for a while.” She peeled Marinette off her and handed her the Kir Royale. “Take a big gulp of this and let’s go back to our nice boys okay?”

Marinette nodded, sipping her cocktail. She realized she hadn’t actually gotten to try it yet, it was delicious. she savored the sweet creme de cassis and welcomed the warmth, letting it soothing her nerves.

She continued drinking as Alya led her back to the booth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curious about the beverages mentioned in this chapter? Well, please drink responsibly folks, but here you go:
> 
> Alya- Pépa >>http://www.saveur.com/article/Recipes/cognac-vodka-cocktail
> 
> Marinette- Kir Royale >>http://wine-tasting-reviews.com/winefoodpairing/wine-cocktails-recipes/111-kir-royale-recipe-champagne.html
> 
> Nino- Leffe Blonde >>http://www.leffe.com/en/beers/leffe-blond **I've actually had this beer, it's DELICIOUS
> 
> All of you are too poor to afford Adrien's beverage of choice but here it is anyway- Bastille 1789 >>http://www.bastillewhisky.com/age.php


	3. Dirtier Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien grows a pair. Basically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to part two of the jumbo middle buildup section. And the juicy-juice I promised you.
> 
> The second dancing sequence was written while listening to Rihanna's S&M on repeat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) If that matters to those of you listening to music while you read.
> 
> thanks to the bae-tas! Hopeless_aromantic >http://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeless_aromantic and Ondine Calypso Porpoise III
> 
> Enjoy, ya nasties. <3 The Unoriginal Sinner

Adrien had gone from vaguely apprehensive to absolutely seething. Watching some pig getting up in Marinette’s face, and then _yelling_ at her? He had been ready to jump over the table and run over to crack that douche in the jaw. Luckily Alya had been there in an instant, otherwise he would have started a brawl and gotten them all thrown out.

Plagg looked up at him from from the cheese platter and rolled his eyes dramatically “Calm down diaper-baby, don’t get emotional.” Adrien frowned at his kwami, scooping him off the table.

“I’m not getting emotional! Now you need to hide, Nino’s going to wake up as soon as he gets a whiff of the drinks.”

Plagg moaned, lazily reaching his paws at the cheese. “Hmm, you should be glad I’m even doing this for you...I hope she’s worth it.”

Adrien sighed, “Believe me, she is.” he tucked Plagg safely out of sight just as the girls returned.

“Hellooo boys!” Alya sung, her glass was already half empty. “Here you gooo!” She shoved Nino over on the couch and his head shot up.

“Beer?!”

“Here babe,” She handed him his glass and Nino immediately took three long gulps. “Ohh that was fun! Marinette was a natural, those boys didn’t stand a chance.” Adrien felt a sharp pang of residual jealousy. He looked across the table at Marinette, who blushed and held out a glass of orange whiskey.

“Sorry Adrien, I uh...I had a sip of your drink.” She stared at him through her eyelashes.

“D-did you like it?” he stuttered, surprised by how husky his voice sounded.

“No! It was horrible!” She blushed even brighter and they both burst into laughter. But Adrien’s breath caught in his throat when he looked closer at the drink.

On one side of the glass he could clearly see the perfect lipgloss imprint made from her mouth; A petrified kiss preserved on the rim of the crystal, just for him. She had anointed his drink with her sweet lips and he shook at the thought of tasting a drought blessed by his lady’s mouth.

Alya raised her glass in the air, “À la votre!” Nino, Marinette and Adrien all echoed her toast. And as he pulled in his glass to drink, Adrien took care to line up his mouth perfectly with the print of Marinette’s lipgloss. He pressed his lips slowly against the cold glass, tongue tracing the rim, lapping up whatever essence that remained. He savored the thought of her for a moment before letting the whisky cascade into his mouth. It was the best drink Adrien had ever tasted.

He set it down and looked at Marinette, she too had just set down her drink. He could see the moisture of it still on her soft, cherry lips. So quickly he might have otherwise missed it, the tip of her pink tongue swiped across her bottom lip, catching the last taste of her cocktail. Adrien grunted, and then did his best to cover it with a cough.

“Too strong for you bud?” A now very alert Nino slapped him on the shoulder.

“No! It’s very smooth, its perfect.” Adrien puffed out his chest and took another swig.

The nectar of her lips. _God_ he wanted to taste them for himself. He wanted to feel their moisture, feel them twitch under his mouth as he stole her sweet kisses to be forever preserved on his flesh.

“This is the best night ever you guys!” Alya clapped her hands, which snapped Adrien out of his daze. “I’m sooo glad you invited us Adrien!”

He grinned at his amazing friends “Of course! I feel like I’m actually a teenager now. And I couldn’t imagine anyone I’d rather spend the night with.” It was true. Even with his superhero double life, he rarely got the opportunity to taste freedom, and never as Adrien.

Nino raised his glass in the air “This night will go down in infamy as the night that our little Adrien...finally grew a pair!”

“Hey alright now!” Adrien laughed, but not as loud as Alya.

“Oho my gosh! I would drink to that, but I finished–my drink’s gone.” She shook her head and waved her empty cocktail glass.

“Well that’s no good.” Adrien looked around for a server. “I’ve got an idea...” He stood and tapped a mustachioed attendant on the shoulder “Excuse moi, monsieur, on va prendre des shooters...”

“Ah, oui monsieur! Une moment s’il vous plaît.” Adrien sat back down and Alya started bouncing in her seat

“Shots! Shots! Shots!” Okay maybe she didn’t need any more to drink. But it was too late for that now.

When their shots arrived they engaged in another round of cheers and enjoyed tossing back as many as they could handle without choking. Alya probably had the most, as she was now leaning against Nino forehead to forehead, giggling nonsense his his ear.  
     
They seemed pretty invested in each other so Adrien took this opportunity to have a private conversation with Marinette. He picked up his whisky glass and leaned his elbows on the table. He cleared his throat “So, are you having fun?”

“Yes.” she stressed the affirmation and flashed a glittering smile “I am having _so_ much fun Adrien.” His heart pressed against his ribcage, bursting with bliss. “I’m sorry if I’m being too quiet, it’s probably the alcohol!” She giggled, and it rattled something deep in his stomach.

“No it’s...you’re fine!” Adrien stared down at his drink and swirled it. He hesitated before admitting “I don’t like that that jerk payed for this drink.”

Marinette reached her hand out like she might rest it on his hand, but she stopped short and set it on the table. “We know you could have gotten us the drinks, it’s okay. You got us these shots!”

“That’s not it... I don’t like that you had to do that.” He looked up at her and her eyes were soft.

“Well... Alya just wanted to help me come out of my shell a little bit tonight.”

Adrien leaned forward forward slightly so she could understand the gravity of his next comment. “You shouldn’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

Marinette tilted her head and smiled gently, glancing away. “Avoiding jerks would probably be wise. But...” Her eyes flitted back to him, “Sometimes the things that scare you are the things most worth doing.”

The sensation in his stomach curled and Adrien smirked. Sometimes he forgot how much smarter than him she was.

“Hey hayyy!! What are you guys whispering about?!” Alya had her chin propped up on her hands and she batted her eyelashes at them. Nino laughed and tried to shush her but she swatted him away. “Hey, what? This is a group party so we should be group conversation...conversationing!”

Marinette sat up “You’re right Alya, what should we converse about?”

Alya tapped her chin and hummed “Mmmmm....we should talk about...How Kim’s hair looks like a duck’s ass stuck to his forehead!”

The whole group exploded in uproarious laughter. They spent a good while making each other laugh, telling stories and polishing off more drinks. After a time they fell silent, their blood alcohol content lulling each of them into a slight fog.

Adrien felt good. A friendly warmth had spread through his body, he felt comfortable, and a little bit heavy. He looked down at the whisky glass in hands and raised it to his lips to drain it. Placing it back on the table and glancing up he noticed Marinette watching him.

“Oh my GOD MARINETTE I LOVE THIS SONG!” Alya, not quite having reached a relaxed state, leaned in to Marinette’s wincing face “Come on, dance with me!!” Throwing back the last shot, Alya entwined her arm with Marinette’s and dragged her back towards the dance floor.

Adrien watched them weave through the tables and Nino laughed, “So you’re just gonna let Alya steal your girl like that?” He playfully jabbed Adrien in the ribs. Laughing awkwardly, but saying nothing, Adrien returned his gaze to Marinette, who was now dancing in perfect view.

Adrien raked his eyes down her frame. His composure had been cracked slightly by the whisky and his mind now wandered to a more primal, instinctual space. Watching her dance awoke something animalistic in him, something less “Adrien the model student and dutiful son” and much more “Chat Noir blood-lust”. The way she brushed her hands up her neck and through her loosening hair, the way she closed her eyes and parted her lips, the way she swung her hips and rolled her body to the music.

That body.

Her t-shirt dress might not have been as tight as Alya’s slinky red number, but it was _sinfully_ short, and with every twirl of her hips it teased him and threatened to expose more of her soft flesh. The visible strip of upper thigh rendered even more tantalizing by her girly, thigh high _polka-dot_ stockings. The innocent yet provocative juxtaposition inspired some truly wicked fantasies. And besides, it was easy for him to call to mind her curves in skin tight red spandex.

Adrien studied the other couples entwined on the dance floor; pairs of bodies rolling against each other, so close they became writhing masses of lust and friction. He imagined them all as himself and Marinette; slowly growing hungrier, aching for the feeling of her body against his, twisting and grinding. His eyes returned to her gyrating form. He wanted to snake his hands up her slender body and pull her in close.

Suddenly Adrien found himself leaving the booth and tearing through the crowd, making a direct bee-line towards Marinette– who stopped when he reached her and looked into his eyes like a doe staring down a wolf.

“Can we dance again?”

She nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact, and tenderly draped her arms around his shoulders. Adrien set one hand on her hip and pulled her in, careful to not grip her too tight...yet.     

\----------------

Marinette could literally not believe the situation she was in. If you had told her two days ago that she would soon find herself dolled up in an exclusive discotheque wrapped in the hot embrace of Adrien Agreste, she would have called you an ambulance because clearly you were suffering a mental breakdown.

But when she looked up and saw Adrien slicing through the crowd staring at her like a rare steak, suddenly _she_ was the one who needed a hospital.

Marinette told herself to stop overthinking. Her champagne cocktail and dancing with Alya had helped calm her clumsy nerves. ‘Focus on the moment” she thought. ‘Relax’. She released herself comfortably into Adrien’s rhythm, syncing her movements to his, matching each twist of his hips with hers. She let her focus clear and return to his brilliantly green eyes.

He pulled her in closer.

“HEY!! YOU GUYS” Marinette’s breath hitched as she and Adrien shot apart to turn and register Alya and Nino. “UH WE’RE GONNA GO TO THE...UM” Alya shouted over the music, neither she or Nino would make direct eye contact with them. “I DON’T FEEL GOOD, I HAVE TO PUKE AND NINO’S GONNA HOLD MY HAIR. THAT’S WHY WE’RE GOING TO THE BATHROOM!” She started giggling, shattering any smidge of a chance she’d had of getting Marinette and Adrien to believe the excuse.

“BYE!” Nino waved like an idiot as Alya dragged him away

Adrien and Marinette exchanged uncomfortable glances. The thinly veiled truth Nino and Alya’s disappearance hung in the air between them. Obviously the idea of...a physical encounter had been playing in her mind all night. _‘Probably in Adrien’s mind too’_ she thought with a nervous squeak. But now it was lurking out in the open, and awkward.

Thankfully, smooth and confident Adrien Agreste took charge of the situation. As soon as the music picked up a fun tempo, he grabbed Marinette’s hand and twirled her in princess circles, grinning wildly. Marinette laughed and spun, releasing all her nervous tension. Keeping hold of her hand, Adrien pulled her close against him again before wrapping his arms around her waist.

Marinette was grateful for his quick thinking. God, he was so cool under pressure. She smiled and her hands slid up his arms onto his neck. She felt very relaxed in his embrace, completely the opposite from interacting with Chevy, who made her cringe in fear. In all honesty, She and Adrien really don’t know each other that well, but for some reason Marinette felt like she _did_ know him. She had this strong, unexplainable sense that she could trust him with her life. She held him tighter, reveling in the strength and security of his lean arms

Adrien responded immediately to her return in confidence and picked up the intensity. Suddenly they were leaning fully against each other, chests and hips pressing and creating electric friction. Adrien bent his knees and Marinette followed, sinking deeper into the cradle of his embrace. Her breathing became labored and her eyes heavy. Her hands were in his hair, his hands were on her hips–on her ass.

She ground herself against the stiff leather of his pants, _‘Is he? Oh my god’._  
Marinette didn’t want to break away from the face to face intimacy, the eye contact. But she knew what her “Slutty Godmother” would suggest in this situation. Slowly, she guided Adrien’s hands back onto her hips and turned her back to him.  
He seemed confused and reluctant, but as soon as Marinette demonstrated what she had in mind, he was on board.

Leaning up against him and relying on his lap for support, Marinette arched her back and rolled against him, slowly and then at a syncopated rhythm. _Long_ , short, short, _long_. Adrien’s hands tightened on her hips, Marinette strained her neck to lock back at his face, and his eyes were closed.

When she pressed a particularly strong roll onto his erection, Adrien groaned. Marinette couldn’t hear it over the music, but she could feel it reverberating in his chest and in the air behind her ear. Leaning her head back onto his shoulder and placing a hand to his cheek, Marinette re-established eye contact. One of Adrien’s hands had climbed up her stomach, and he was looking at her the way she’d wanted him to look at her for three years.

For a moment Marinette feared she was getting too drunk on Adrien’s breath, lost on the waves of his body. She wanted to be smart but...man he was intoxicating. She decided to succumb to her emotions and hooked her nose under his chin, breathing hot on his neck. Marinette felt another moan in his throat and he dug his fingers into her side. Adrien tucked his chin down and then they were nose to nose. Marinette stilled against him. He froze as well.

Moments. Ticking. She could count his freckles and see the silhouettes of the other dancers in his eyes. _‘please’_ she wanted it so badly.

Then suddenly he was pulling away. Marinette’s hazy lust bubble popped as she took in the anxious look on Adrien’s face. He held her by the wrists and glanced around the room like a cornered rabbit.

“Adrien?”

Then he was tearing through the crowd, pulling her behind him. Marinette tried to wrap her head around his abrupt change in behavior. _‘Where is he going?’_ He led her to the edge of the room near the bar. It looked like he was heading towards...some closet? _‘Oh.’_ The pace of Marinette’s heartbeat tripled. Was that the baseline of the music? Or the blood thumping in her ears?

Sure enough, Adrien led them to a door that read **“Club staff only.”** After shooting another anxious look around, he threw open the door and pulled her inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAAA hhaaa!!! Sorry. I promised you juicy-juice, but not the whole apple.
> 
> I promise this fic will earn it's rating. But momma didn't raise no fool, all good things to those who wait.
> 
> I will try to keep this update at a weekly basis. Meaning I will do my best not to make you wait MORE than 7 days. 
> 
> Until then, ya nasties. <3 The Unoriginal Sinner.


	4. The plot part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reveal happens and also some well deserved ass-kicking.   
> "Hell hath no fury like a Dudebro scorned."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S OVER. This is the most 'plot' you guys will probably ever receive from me. Word to the wise, don't fucking include an akuma battle in your fics. Don't do it. Just don't
> 
> Super duper big thanks to hopeless_aromantic who wrote some really great stuff for this chapter and helped me get it to you on time. The first chapter of her Billdip fic has been published so check that out if you like Gravity Falls. It's gonna be a slow burn, but I'm her beta and I can assure you we have some great smut planned.   
> Thanks as well to Sirena Moonbeam Oceana Angelfish
> 
> Also hey, if you guys are on tumblr, so am I! Same name >>http://the-unoriginal-sinner.tumblr.com/ I put out a request for "That's what she said" jokes but I have like 5 followers haha. No matter, we came up with our own.
> 
> Please enjoy, ya nasties. <3 The Unoriginal Sinner

  
Half blind and delirious with panic and lingering arousal, Adrien stepped into the center of the closet into which he had just pulled them. Various shelves of linen, silver trays and cleaning supplies surrounded them on each wall.

Trying to ignore the throbbing in his groin, Adrien wiped his eyes, desperately willing some blood to return to his brain as he turned to face a bewildered Marinette– though getting a good look at her under the bright, fluorescent lamp did nothing to steady his nerves. Her chest was heaving, loose hair tousled around her flush cheeks as her sparkling blue eyes searched him up and down.

He must have looked like an absolute wreck.

“Adrien, what–” He held up a hand to silence her question.

“Just...give me a second.” He couldn’t look at her. Instead, he fixed his gaze on a particularly captivating mop in the corner, resting one hand on his hip and dragging the other through his hair. “I have to tell you something.” _‘Oh god I’m gonna puke!’_ “I have to tell you this, before...anything else happens.” He tucked his hands into his armpits in an attempt to keep them from shaking.

“I have to tell you this because I like you _so_ much, Marinette. And I don’t want to mess this up...but this might mess everything up.”

“Adrien, calm down! It’s..it’s okay, I like you too.” She smiled tenderly, meaning to soothe him but instead sending a storm of guilt through him.

“No wait.” He held up both of his hands. “Just let me get this out.” He took a steadying breath. “The first thing you need to know, is that I love _you_. Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I love you, for who you are on the inside...I love how kind and giving you are, how you stand up for what you believe, how you can be adorably shy yet sharp with wit at the same time! I love that you’re so talented and creative, how clumsy and stubborn and jealous you can be!” He was laughing now, getting carried away. “For some reason I love that you hated me when we first met, but most of all I love that you care about me as a person, and not as some vapid, rich model. I love that I can rely on you to support me...”   

He looked at Marinette, she had her hands folded over her mouth and her eyes glistened with moisture.

“...and hopefully forgive me.” Adrien clutched his ring bearing hand to his chest and croaked, “Plagg, transforme moi!” He shut his eyes tight as green light filled the room, feeling his transformation envelop him from head to tail. Heart pounding in his chest, Adrien slowly opened his eyes.

Marinette was white as a ghost, hands still covering the bottom half of her face. She looked him up and down over and over. Adrien burned under that gaze.

He broke the unbearable silence first, “Remember, when we were studying a few weeks ago, and I said I had to go home because I wasn’t feeling well?” His eyes darted around the room, his stomach hurt, _‘Oh god she’s going to hate me,’_ he forced the words out as quickly as he could, because she needed to understand. Stutters and "wells" and "ums" punctuated his speech, partly thanks to his nerves and partly to the alcohol in his system. "I... well, I sort of... found Tikki in your bag." Marinette loosed a sharp gasp against her hands. “I...I understand if you hate me now.” He braced himself for her response.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Adrien was shocked by how...gentle and doleful she sounded. Her question was more of a whispered plea, his pounding heart ached at her tone. He never expected her to be _sad_. “B-because I’d been chasing after Ladybug for years as Chat Noir...and you were obviously so uninterested that I thought...well I thought maybe I could win you over...as Adrien?” He winced. “I’m the worst, I know I know I’m the worst, I shouldn’t have lied.”

To his immense shock, _she laughed_. She laughed and laughed, clutching her stomach as he stood, absolutely stunned. Adrien watched her gasp for air and wipe tears from her eyes and he did not understand. “Win me over?” she repeated it like a punchline to a joke. “Adrien...you ‘won me over’ a long time ago... the day you gave me your umbrella.”

Adrien thought he might cry. He joined in her laughter, unbelievable relief and joy washing over him and filling him to the brim with warmth. But Marinette’s laughter shortly died off, a look of befuddlement knitting her eyebrows together.

“Wait you...you’d been chasing after Ladybug for years?” She looked up at him in horror, “All those jokes? You were _serious_?!”

Adrien gawked at her. “You’re kidding right?” Surely she could not be that blind.

“I thought you flirted with everyone!! You know, Chat Noir; suave playboy jokester! You! Y-you flirted with _me_ when we fought The Evillustrator!” Her volume dropped like a stone. “You flirted with me....you...you _flirted_ with me!” Her eyes widened with understanding.

Adrien brushed a gloved hand down the back of his neck “Aren’t I allowed to like more than one girl...”

“Apparently not.” A smile captured Marinette’s face. “I can’t believe you really meant all those things.”

“Mean.” He corrected. “And... if you had known?” He took a step closer, his luminous green, slitted eyes studying her with obvious arousal.

“If I had?” She looked up at him, hypnotized under his covetous gaze and stumbled an inch toward him. “If I had I don’t...I don’t know. It would have been...” Adrien licked his lips, they were nearly chest to chest now. “Unprofessional” she whispered, bringing a hand up to rest on his heart.

“Oh fuck professionalism,” Adrien hissed, grabbing the back of her neck with clawed fingers, pulling her in to close the remaining space between their lips and–

**CRASH!**

They jolted as the the cacophony of shattering glass and piercing screams from outside the door rattled the glasses and trays on the shelves, effectively ruining the moment.

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me?!” Adrien howled, wrenching himself away from Marinette despite the physical pain it caused him “NOW?!”

Marinette’s whine of longing and frustration melted into an exasperated laugh. “We can’t catch a break, can we Kitty.”

The pet name tugged at Adrien’s stomach and he watched her eagerly as she popped open her purse.

“Tikki, transforme moi!” After a second flash of color Adrien was greeted by the most beautiful sight in the world; his Ladybug. _His_ Ladybug, officially. Smiling at him with her hands on her hips. “Come on, let’s go be professional.”

Marinette and Adrien clasped hands and allowed themselves to share a chaste, yet burning peck on the lips, before kicking open the door to face the trials ahead.

\-------------------------

  
Ladybug and Chat Noir burst out of the supply closet, hands still entwined, taking in the scene unfolding before them with wide eyes.

A muscular figure stood atop the DJ platform, clad in garish bright green and purple spandex with a large Dracula collar and strange sunglasses. He held his hand to a circular dial on the side of the glasses and a bright red laser shot from the lenses, scorching a ravine into the floor in front of him. The screaming crowd fell back from the destruction, and the figure laughed, staring at the hissing and smoking damage.

The Akuma bellowed over the screaming crowd, “LADIES OF PARIS!! FEAR NO LONGER, I HAVE COME TO FREE YOU FROM YOUR NO-GOOD BOYFRIENDS!”  Twisting the dial on his sunglasses, he shot a blue ray at a cowering man, who froze like ice.

“ALFIE! What did you do to him!” A blonde girl clutched at the frozen figure of her boyfriend.

“I GOT RID OF HIM SO THAT YOU’RE FREE TO LOVE ME! ACCEPT ME AS YOUR LOVER AND YOU WILL BE FINALLY FULFILLED.” Cranking the dial again, he shot a rainbow beam of light at the blonde girl. For a moment, Chat wondered if the alcohol was affecting his vision. The multicolored beam spread over her body, creating a triple image like an old 3D movie–her repeating form shimmering in red, green, blue, and yellow before melding back into one girl. One girl who looked very…fulfilled.

_‘That was disgustingly literal’_ He shuddered. Next to him, Ladybug gasped. “What?”

“Look at his sunglasses! It’s Chevy, the creep who hit on Alya and bought me your drink!”

_‘Oh.’_ Chat thought with a smirk. This fight is going to be _very_ satisfying.

But Ladybug was way ahead of him. She ran up to stop before the smoking scar on the dance floor. “CHEVY! DON’T DO THIS, YOU GAIN A WOMAN’S LOVE OUT OF RESPECT, NOT BY DESTROYING HER BOYFRIEND AND MAKING HER YOUR SLAVE!”

Chevy turned to look at her, holding the blonde zombie by her waist “My name isn’t Chevy, it’s BROKUMA!” _’wow seriously?.’_ Brokuma stared at Ladybug and grinned; Chat did not like that look. “And I’ll make you love me too, Bug-Babe, just watch!” He twisted the dial on the side of his glasses and they began to glow with light.

_‘Nope!’_ “No, YOU watch dickwad!” wild with rage, Chat extended his staff and used it to vault at Brokuma’s head, cracking him in the jaw with his boot to deflect the shot.

The rainbow beam of light missed Ladybug by a mile, hitting a short girl with red curls in the chest. Like the blonde before her, this new victim’s eyes went glassy and her knees went weak.  
“Oh, Brokuma!!!” She panted, running towards the spot where he’d fallen after Chat’s kick. “You’re so rugged!”

Chat tried not to gag as Brokuma and this poor hypnotized girl twisted their tongues around in gooey knots.

Ladybug launched her yoyo forward to wrap around the love zombie’s ankle, ripping her away from Brokuma and into the air. The girl screamed, scratching at Ladybug's mask with her manicured fingers as she tried to secure her to a chair with velvet rope.

_‘Good.’_ This left Brokuma to Chat Noir. He catapulted forward and spun his baton wildly, leaning into a challenging _come at me_ stance. The stupid lug took the bait and stalked towards him. “Looks like Bug-Babe is jealous of my new lady.”

A leer broke across Chat’s face and he spun towards the right, aiming a swing at Brokuma’s ribs. He made contact with a shuddering blow. Brokuma tumbled forward onto the ground and rolled onto his back, gripping his temple. Chat’s grin slipped off his face when an searing hot jet of light missed his shoulder by mere inches.

He dropped into a slide out of harm’s way, hissing and spitting with rage. Brokuma was firing destructive lasers everywhere now, caring more about defense than anything else. Hopefully he’d abandoned the idea of adding Mari to his collection of drooling floozies. He aimed a shot in her direction.

Ladybug secured her yoyo on the scaffolding overhead and used it to pull herself out of the way of the flames, launching into a flip over Brokuma’s head. On her way to the ground she drove a carefully placed kick to the back of his shoulders. Brokuma pitched forward, skidding across the dance floor on one knee to where Chat was waiting for him.

With an uncharacteristic sneer of loathing, Chat pressed his boot into Brokuma’s chest, pinning him to the ground. But his moment of triumph was fleeting, beefy hands clamped down on Chat’s leg and swung him towards the ground. Chat tucked into a somersault, righting himself to see Brokuma on his feet, preparing to laser blast him in the face.

“Damn!” Chat rolled out of the line of fire. “You’re slipperier than you look!”

Brokuma stood, shaking with laughter. “THAT’S WHAT _SHE_ SAID.”

“Eugh” Chat gagged, dodging another fiery blast. He back-flipped onto the bar and whipped out his baton.

Brokuma was sauntering back towards Ladybug, switching his glasses back to _love beam_ presumably. “Hey Apple-Bottom, why don’t you come sit on my face!” Chat could feel his blood boiling, but Ladybug just laughed.

“Be careful what you wish for!” Ladybug shot forward and planted her foot on his chest like a spring-board, propelling herself up his body and wrapping her thighs around his skull, _‘shit.’_ twisting her legs to throw him to the ground. She bent to retrieve his sunglasses but Brokuma swiped her feet out from under her and kicked her across the room. _‘Double shit.’_

Chat was instantly upon Brokuma, forgetting about his weapon and blindly elbowing him in the collarbone and kneeing him in the groin–anything he could reach. If he stayed in close range he could better avoid blasts from his laser vision. But his technique was getting sloppy, so delirious with jealousy that he was aimlessly lobbing punches and failing to protect his weak points. Brokuma exploited his carelessness and delivered a violent jab to Chat’s abdomen, projecting him into the screaming crowd.  

Chat sputtered on the floor as Brokuma returned his attention to Ladybug, who had gotten back on her feet and was running at him full speed.

“This won’t end well for you, Brokuma!” She called, “You’re only making it harder for _yourself_!”

Brokuma chortled and deflected her first blow. “That’s what _she_ said!”

Ladybug rolled her eyes and muttered “I’ll bet she did.” Her volleys were more precise, with the intention of wearing out her attacker, rather than frantically causing him pain. Even so, Brokuma managed to create some distance between them and Ladybug had to cartwheel away from a jet of rainbow love-trap.

Out of nowhere, a rogue champagne flute sailed through the air and crashed against the side of Brokuma’s head. “HEY DOUCHEBAG!!” It seemed Alya and Nino had returned from their ‘trip’ to the bathroom. “GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY GIRL, LADYBUG!”

Spectacles glowing, Brokuma spun in in place to stare down his attacker. “YOU!” He roared, but he was pointing behind Alya...directly at a bewildered Nino. “YOU’RE THE OWNER OF THE BOOTY!”

_‘Oh shit, Nino.’_ Chat straightened and began slinking his way through the crowd of bystanders, hopefully he could take Brokuma by surprise.

Nino puffed out his chest and moved in front of Alya, who was pretty riled up and not on board with taking the back seat. “LISTEN SLEAZE-BAG, IF YOU TOUCH HER I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS.”

Chat paused, _‘Huh. way to go Nino!’_ He was probably still a little drunk though, because he slipped as he stepped forward. _‘Is his shoe..dripping?_

Brokuma’s glasses began to glow blue. Ladybug yo-yo’d him around the wrist, but he wrapped his arm up in the wire and used it to swing her out of his way. She went flying, and crashed into Chat Noir at lightning speed, sending them both to the ground with a _WHUMP_

Chat gasped air back into his emptied lungs, “Are you okay?” He struggled to sit while Ladybug was already standing.

“Yes, but Nino won’t be if we don’t–” A blast of blue light confirmed their fears. “Merde.” She reached an arm down to pull him off the ground. They looked across the room where Alya was fuming in front of a very icy Nino, frozen mid finger point.

“NOW, MY VOLUPTUOUS BEAUTY, WE CAN BE TOGETHER!” Brokuma slowly clicked through the settings on his glasses, but Alya hadn’t seen what it could do, she only strode closer.

“YEAH RIGHT _FUCKBOY_ , AS IF I’D WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU OR YOUR TWO-INCH DICK! I’M GONNA SMACK YOU INTO NEXT WEEK UNLESS YOU UNFREEZE MY BOYFRIEND!” She had guts, but she was seconds away from being blasted into orgasmic oblivion.

“ALYA STOP” Ladybug screamed, running for her, but it was too late. Brokuma tapped the side of his glasses and Alya was consumed by vibrating rainbow ripples. She sank to the floor with a shudder.

Ladybug and Chat Noir watched in horror as Alya opened her eyes, climbed shakily to her feet, and eyed Brokuma with thinly concealed lust.

“Ohhh, Brokuma,” She moaned.

“Oh, _hell_ no,” Ladybug's yo-yo shot out and caught Alya around the waist as she tried to run toward Brokuma, pulling her back in an attempt to avoid another terrifying spit-swap session.

Ladybug struggled against Alya’s writhing form. Alya didn’t need an akuma to be a formidable enemy, she grabbed Ladybug around the waist and flipped her over her shoulder. Landing precariously on her feet, Ladybug released Alya from the yoyo and the two of them launched into an all out brawl; Ladybug trying not to seriously injure her friend and Alya showing no mercy.

Both Chat Noir and Brokuma had frozen in place to watch, temporarily entranced. 

“Ohhh a cat-fight! Damn Bug-Babe, I wonder if I can switch to x-ray vision, not that I need it when that suit shows off so much.”

That was all Chat needed to jar him back to reality, he was seeing red. ‘ _I’ll show_ him _a catfight!_ ’ He launched himself at the akumatized pervert, swinging his baton wildly as Brokuma dodged again and again. He was a flurry of slashing claws and fierce protective instinct, absolutely feral and absolutely terrifying.

Brokuma dodged yet another swipe from Chat’s staff, shooting his multicolored beam toward Ladybug, who jumped straight into the air to avoid becoming a mindless zombie. Chat growled, the sound reverberating from the back of his throat.

“Dude! What the _fuck_ is your problem?!” The akuma bellowed.

“That’s my _girlfriend_ you’re aiming for!” _'Was she?'_ He wasn't sure, but in the moment it felt right.

A sick smile spread across Brokuma’s face. “Girlfriend, huh? Well, in that case...” His hand moved to the dial on his sunglasses again. ' _Uh-oh'_.

Chat leapt backwards, narrowly avoiding the blue flash of light that would turn him into a chat-sicle. He landed in a crouch, snarling as another beam of light sailed his way.

He watched Ladybug from the corner of his eye, somehow the red-haired zombie had gotten free and she, Alya, and the blonde were all chasing after her. But his attention could only stay with them for a moment as he slid across the floor, dodging the akuma’s blasts again and again.

Brokuma howled in frustration. “STOP MOVING SO I CAN POUND YOU!”

“HAH! That’s what _SHE_ said!” Chat roared triumphantly, smacking Brokuma in the stomach with his...staff.

He hit the floor with a thud, but immediately clambered to his feet, “That’s MY JOKE!” He screamed and shot a freeze ray over Chat Noir’s shoulder

Suddenly, Ladybug sprinted into his peripheral vision.

“Chat!” she called out over the clamoring and screaming of Brokuma’s rabid fangirls. “I’ve got it! What’s a Dudebro’s greatest fear?”

He ducked under Brokuma’s blast with a confused expression. “I don’t know, what?”

“The _catechism_ of his masculinity and sexual orientation!”

He frowned in confusion as she called out, “LUCKY CHARM!” ‘ _did she say..._ cat- _echism?’_

Her signature move caught Brokuma’s attention as it transformed in the air and sailed back into her grasp.

“Silly putty?” She frowned. “What the hell do I do with this?” Chat watched her as he kept Brokuma busy, continuing his volley of attacks. He saw Ladybug's head move side to side as she surveyed her surroundings, saw the gears turning in her mind. Her eyes lit up. “Chat Noir! I need you to make a mess of the drinks!”

_’Ah, I think I know where she’s headed with this…’_

He struck a heroic pose as he called for Plagg’s power: “CATACLYSM!”

He darted across the floor, claws glowing black and itching for destruction. As he reached the bar, he spread his arms to either side and continued running, dragging his claws along the shelves that held hundreds of bottles of expensive liquor.

Behind him, glass shattered and the room flooded with deluge of booze, but he kept running until he reached the end of the bar, then leapt into the air to avoid the spray.

Ladybug dashed to stand directly on one side of the puddle, catching Chat’s eye she jerked her head to the side. He glanced in that direction and noticed a scrawny man in a paisley printed shirt cowering behind a fallen table. He looked back at her and nodded.

“Oh Brokuma!! Over here darling!” Ladybug flipped him a girlish wave and a wink. The akumatized neanderthal sneered and raised a hand to his sunglasses, preparing to fire.

Faster than light (literally) the team activated their switch; Chat flung the paisley shirt man onto the slick floor,  and Ladybug hit the deck, tumbling out of the way. The terrified bystander slipped and stumbled on the glass, waving his arms frantically as he slid to the spot Ladybug had just abandoned.

The jet of rainbow magic meant for Ladybug hit paisley shirt squarely in the chest. He was a rainbow kaleidoscope for a moment, before turning to Brokuma with glassy eyes. “Ohhhhh, _Brokuma_! You’re so brawny and handsome!”

The masculine villain blanched, sputtering “Wh–what? No, I’m not gay!!” He panicked, not noticing Ladybug sneaking up behind him. He staggered backwards, away from his gentleman caller and Ladybug caught him in his moment of alarm, slapping something gooey onto his chest.

He looked down, “Whu?” And Ladybug heaved a roundhouse kick into the middle of his back, rocketing him into the arms of his new lover.

Brokuma screamed in abhorrence as the paisley shirt guy peppered kisses on his jaw. The homophobic akuma tried to pry himself off, but the silly putty stuck fast. “EUGH?! WHAT IS THIS?”

“You smell like musk and my wildest dreams.” Paisley nuzzled closer.

Ladybug strolled up to the struggling couple and whipped off Brokuma’s glasses with her yoyo. She dropped them to the liquor soaked floor and crushed them underfoot. A single black butterfly flitted from their shattered remains and she snatched it up with her yoyo. “Bye bye, petit papillon!”

With a ripple of black energy, Chevy, the badly dressed lurker found himself pressed against another man, stuck fast with goo. “UAGH! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?”

Ladybug bent to scrape the putty out from in between them and pulled the hypnotized man off of him. “Chevy, maybe now you’ll understand what unwanted sexual advances feel like.”

Chevy eyed his drooling admirer uneasily before staring guiltily at his knees, “I’m..I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“Thank you. Apology accepted!” She tossed the silly putty high in the air to release it’s healing magic.

Chat stooped low next to his enemy, producing a bundle of euros from his suit pocket (don’t ask me how they got there) “Here man, the next round’s on me.” Now they were even for the whisky.

He stood and watched the room return to it’s former glamour and glory; sleek bar and shining dance floor magically repaired, rows and rows of expensive alcohol back in their bottles. And all those affected by the freeze rays or love beams returned to their natural state.

The grateful and intoxicated crowd cheered and screamed for their heroes, rushing for selfies and videos. But Alya Cesaire wrestled her way to the front of the throng.

“IT IS SO AMAZING THAT YOU GUYS ARE HERE!! YOU HAVE TO STAY AND PARTY!”

At her request the volume of their audience tripled, everyone screaming for them to stay.

Ladybug smiled courteously, holding up a hand, “Sorry, guys. But Chat and I have some unfinished business to attend to.” She shot her yoyo into the air and it coiled around the lighting scaffolding above. Then she turned to look Adrien in the eyes and gave him a smile that made his tail curl. He smirked back at her and wrapped his arms around Marinette’s shoulders.

They sailed into the air amid the screams of their drunken admirers. But Adrien couldn’t hear them, he was lost in the beautiful eyes of the love of his life.

\----------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was horrible. But now the plot is over and we can go back to the fun stuff. And the reaaally fun stuff is up next. ;D
> 
> In the original version of this myth– that is, when I thought it up a month ago– LB and Chat Noir did stay for one dance. And showed off quite a bit. But I decided that was just too ridiculous. 
> 
>  
> 
> though....i am just gonna leave this here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8Mv-sK_apE


	5. The Whole Apple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and Adrien finally bang, in what is probably one of the most unique locations I've ever thought up. Also the end of the night happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah that’s right folks, don’t say I never did nothing for ya.
> 
> Sorry if the smuttier section of this chapter doesn’t flow as well as the rest of the work, I spared my betas the weirdness of editing that bit.   
> But thanks for their support and understanding, when I’m blathering on about phalluses on our groupchat.
> 
> Speaking of, someone needs to invent some classy words for ‘penis’ that don’t sound gross or ridiculous because there is not a single one in existence.
> 
> Enjoy, ya nasties. <3 The Unoriginal Sinner

This is to help you guys visualize the setting of this chapter, bc it’s really hard to describe.

\-------------------------

Marinette’s yoyo projected them up and into the wings of the club; perched above a backstage area, partitioned by heavy black curtains. They would not be seen from the main room but they were still close enough to hear the thundering music. Their feet had barely even touched onto the solid lighting platform before their lips were upon each other. Marinette payed no heed to their location, all she knew were Adrien’s lips, soft and hot and sweet, tenderly caressing her own. Marinette and Adrien’s need was carnal, consuming, they struggled for closeness, gripping and pulling at each other as they staggered back on the narrow ramp. Marinette barely noticed them stumbling awkwardly to the ground, she only felt him tilt his jaw to deepen their kisses as he straddled her. She did not register their transformations falling around them; leather shifting to leather under her hands. She only noticed the way he held her tight, pulling her flush against him.

Her hands left Adrien’s backside and pulled him by the collar, tugging him closer. She needed him, needed more of him. She parted her lips and he immediately took the invitation, smooth tongue colliding against hers before relaxing and finding a passionate rhythm; stroking and exploring the hollows of her cheeks.

Adrien ground down against her and a guttural moan erupted from her chest. He left her mouth with a gentle suck of her tongue, before buying his nose against the feverish heat in her neck; nibbling and licking at her pulse. Whimpers, too soft for him to hear, but too strong for her to contain poured from her lips as he licked trails down her throat to her collarbone. Instinctually she wrapped her legs around him, forcing him to relax more of his weight onto her wanting body.

Adrien’s hips surrendered against hers, grinding desperately, aching for pressure. With a grunt he returned his lips to hers, starting slow and tracing her swollen lips with his tongue. His rolling pelvis began to increase in fervor and urgency. She brought her hands to his cheek, tracing the hard edges and relishing the ministrations of his jaw.

Too soon he began to slow, thrusts becoming painfully prolonged; lingering at the crest of her arousal before pulling back entirely. Adrien released her lips with a soft pop and he rested, panting against her cheek.

Marinette stifled a whine, “Why...did you stop?” Heat buzzed between her legs, screaming for the return of his pressure.

Adrien struggled to get the words out “Mmmh... bec–becaussse... if I don’t stop now... I won’t be able to.” his voice was low and gruff, his breathing labored.  
  
Marinette bit her lip, blushing at his confession. Silently she reached a hand into her purse, searching it’s contents. “Well...” she glanced down coyly, then her fingers found what she was looking for. Pulling out the hot pink plastic square, she held it up for Adrien to see. “Who says I want you to...”

Though his pupils had already fully dilated in the darkness, Marinette swore she saw them grow even wider.

He choked out a strangled question, “Are–are you sure?”

And in that moment, she knew she finally _was_. Marinette may have been nervous before, but before he had just been Adrien Agreste; handsome boy in her class and a great friend. But now...maybe it was a hasty decision, but here was a boy whom she had relied on in her most vulnerable moments. Here was her partner, who had thrown himself in harms way countless times just to protect her. Here was a boy who’d sworn to love her unconditionally, in and out of her mask.

“Yes...I trust you.”

Adrien’s lips crashed upon hers again. This time with more fervor and more passion. She nearly dropped the condom down to the room below, but he took it from her grasp. He brought his free hand to her thigh, gripping his fingers into her soft flesh and pressing himself against her once again. Marinette bent her knees and spread them wide, opening herself up as much as she could to enjoy the friction from his arousal. As their lips melted against each other, the hand on her leg creeped steadily up her hip, pushing up her dress as it traveled.

Pulling back with a stomach-flipping nibble to her lower lip, Adrien crouched over her, and pulled her dress up to her neck. His entire body tensed as his eyes soaked up the sight of her matching red and black polka dot underwear.

“Holy shit Marinette...” his hands shook as he pushed his wild hair away from his sweaty forehead.

Marinette flushed under his unwavering gaze. “They make me feel confident. Like...like Ladybug.”

Adrien moaned and collapsed back onto her, his lips going immediately to her chest; placing hot, tender kisses along her porcelain skin. He traced his lips across the flesh at the edge of her bra, bringing a hand up to cup the other breast. He gingerly pressed a thumb against the red fabric and kneaded it in small circles, searching until he felt Marinette gasp, arching into his touch. He smirked against her and kept his thumb in that spot, massaging and licking her until Marinette thought she might snap from the teasing. Losing her patience, she leaned up and pushed against his shoulders, forcing him back into a crouch.

She was upon his throat instantly, returning his burning licks and nibbles as she began unbuttoning his white shirt. When she was down to the last few buttons he straightened into a kneeling position, allowing her to tug the shirt down from his shoulders and explore the expanse of his chest with her lips and tongue. Marinette dragged her teeth gently across the bead of his nipple, earning a rumbling groan as Adrien dug his fingers into the backs of her knees.

Marinette ran her hands up the sides of his taut frame, memorizing every muscle and ripple of flesh. Her fingers gently scraped down his hips to tug at the waist of his leather pants. She fumbled briefly with the button and zipper before tugging them down around his ass. Adrien assisted her and pulled them the rest of the way to his knees, leaving them on for some amount of cushioning against the hard metal grating of the catwalk.

She fought back moans as she ran her palms down his tan, athletic stomach, eyes firmly locked on his tantalizingly tight black boxer-briefs. The stiff mass they concealed twitched as she hooked her fingers in the waistband. Adrien’s breath hitched as she slipped the black fabric down his hips, releasing his erection from it’s confinement.

Meweling, Marinette dug her thumbs into Adrien’s hips and rested her forehead on his stomach. Timidly she lowered her parted lips to his tip, tongue sliding out to press against his retracted foreskin. Adrien convulsed against her, trembling weakly at the contact. She managed one leisurely stroke of her tongue from base to head before he jerked forward with a yelp.

Marinette laid back down, giggling, and allowed Adrien to topple onto her. His firm ridge pressed against her stomach and they both hissed at the collision. Marinette ran her fingers through his hair while he pushed himself up onto his elbows. He winced as the metal dug into his bones and looked at her, “Are you sure you’re comfortable? We could–mrrf!”

His distraction was smothered by Marinette’s lips. She pulled away slowly, “Shut up and take me, Kitten.”

Adrien coughed through an aneurysm and sat back on his heels. Marinette felt herself tighten as his slender fingers glided down her stomach to catch in her red panties. His eyes locked on the dewy junction between her legs as he slid them off the swell of her hips. His gaze was unwavering as he guided her legs out of the underwear and tossed it to the side.

Adam’s apple bobbing, he swallowed and lowered himself down slowly. Marinette’s heart palpitated wildly at the sight of him flashing her a wicked Chat Noir grin from between her thighs.

“Adrie–ah– _ah!_ ” her head fell backwards as Adrien glossed his tongue up her slit agonizingly slowly in one continuous stroke. Shuddering against the floor she watched him rip open the cherry condom and slide it onto himself. Her abandoned flesh throbbed, it craved attention but she found herself too weak to ask for it.

Luckily Adrien was on her again in an instant. He hovered above her and pressed his rigid penis against her heat. He bit his lip and began sliding himself up and down her slick folds. Marinette crossed her ankles behind the small of his back and rocked against him. The massaging brought stars behind her eyelids and she was undone. When she felt the embrace of his lips against hers again she succumbed, welcoming him with unbridled passion.

Each pass over her clit brought her closer to insanity, but just as she thought she might scream, Adrien pulled back and positioned himself at her entrance. Ever so gently, he slid into her and her back arched against the impact.

Through the years Marinette had speculated widely about what her first time would feel like. Alya had been a wealth of knowledge and honesty, always the over-sharer. So she wasn’t completely surprised by the slight pain she felt as he sunk into her. She was surprised however, by how much she _loved_ the feeling. It was unlike any other physical sensation she had felt, and she surrendered to it completely.

Adrien rolled his hips, pulling back and then sliding deeper in one fluid motion; mimicking their intoxicating dance, pushing himself in and up. Marinette rolled with him, gasping as he rubbed against all her most sensitive places. Their rhythm sped, hunger driving them wild, yearning for more friction. Adrien had hooked his fingers in the metalwork floor above Marinette’s head, using that as an anchor to pull himself as far forward as he could with each thrust; pelvis grinding against her clit at he strained to move farther in.

Her arms twitched, resting beside her head. She ached to reach out for him, but keeping her shoulder blades flat and relaxed helped relieved some of the pain in her back. The sharp metal of the grated walkway sunk into the flesh of her shoulders and ass. Her jersey dress bunched around her upper back did very little to cushion her sensitive skin, but _god_ it was worth it. She relished the pain, because each dig into her back came with another hard thrust from Adrien. Marinette welcomed the pain, maybe she even _liked_ it. It had become impossible for her to differentiate between the searing pain in her shoulders and the bone-rattling pleasure shooting sparks up her spine.

Looking over Adrien’s shoulder she trailed her eyes down the glistening expanse of his skin. He had thrown off his shirt which allowed Marinette to view his lithe body uninterrupted by clothing. He was lit from underneath by the club lights surrounding them. It gave him an otherworldly glow and created sharp shadows, accentuating every hard ridge and muscle on his back. His shoulder blades pumped in hypnotizing circles as they worked to shift his weight back and forth. Marinette blushed at the sight of his smooth backside nestled between her thighs, dipping down each time he rowed into her.

She turned into the warmth of his skin, ghosting her lips to his ear so that he might hear her sweet noises over the roaring music below. He reveled in the sound of her pleasure briefly before turning to meet her gaze. Marinette raked her eyes over his orgiastic face; blond hair clung to his damp skin, his bright green eyes were blown wide and dark with animalistic lust. His whole face was flushed and his lips were slick and kiss-bruised. She flicked her nose against his and he descended once more upon her lips, fondling her tongue. She moaned into his mouth as he buried himself deeper inside her.

Marinette wasn’t convinced that there was some ‘ _magical spot’_ every girl had, but as Adrien plunged forward, something snapped within her; stripping away all of her rationality and threatening to turn her into a blubbering, gelatinous mass of atoms. Every muscle in her body involuntarily clenched and her hips tilted into the explosive sensation.

Adrien released a guttural growl as she tightened and spasmed around him, if Marinette were aware of the outside world she would have noticed him coming soon thereafter, rutting frantically into her as he rode each wave of his ejaculation. Marinette regained vision as he crumpled against her chest, heaving deep, rattling breaths. She gingerly wrapped her arms around his slick body, adrenaline and post-orgasm bliss dulling the pain in her shoulders.

They laid like that for a brief period of ecstasy; entwined bodies sharing warmth and the unbelievable joy of having finally found each other.

\-----------------

After an indeterminable amount of time,she and Adrien returned to the club dance floor below. Hand in hand they sought out Nino and Alya. But Alya found them first, “OH MY GOSH WHERE WERE YOU GUYS? GUESS WHAT!!” She grabbed them by their conjoined hands and pulled them along with her. “THERE WAS AN AKUMA ATTACK, THAT CREEP FROM THE BAR! AND LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR WERE HERE! /AND/” She pointed up at the DJ station. “THE DJ BAILED DURING THE ATTACK SO NINO TOOK OVER”

Marinette looked up and sure enough there was Nino, spinning tracks at his dream venue. He glanced up and saw them, shooting a goofy wave and a look of ' _Can you fucking believe this!?'_ Then he held up one finger and started fussing with the sound board.

“MY GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU GUYS MISSED THE ACTION!” Alya shrieked.

Adrien and Marinette exchanged a look. “UHH... YEAH THAT’S TOO BAD” He laughed.

“YEAH, AN AKUMA HERE? HOW WILD.” Marinette fought to keep a convincing face as she met Alya’s suspicious gaze.

Before she could ask any questions, Nino burst from the crowd and threw his arms around their shoulders. “HEY PLAYAS WHATS UP?! I SET UP A TRACK SO I CAN PARTY!” Marinette hissed and recoiled from his grasp, stinging pain spreading through her scapula.

Alya shot forward and tugged down the collar of her dress, “GIRL, WHAT IS ON YOUR BACK!?” Marinette strained to look behind her and was met with a shocking sight, bright red, raw abrasions covered the expanse of her upper back. “WHAT DID YOU DO?” Alya gasped.

“Ummm?” Marinette blushed and wouldn’t meet her eyes–or Adrien’s, who was trying to catch her under a concerned gaze.

Alya pulled Marinette closer and lowered her voice, face alight with the promise of hot gossip. “ _Marinette_. _What_ did you _do_.” Marinette hid a smile against her knuckles.

“I’ll... tell you later okay?”

This time resting his hand gingerly on her arm, Nino suggested, “SEEMS TO ME YOU COULD USE SOME MORE ALCOHOL.”

“YES!” Marinette rolled her shoulders, wincing. “AND A LOT OF IT.”

The rest of the evening was a blur of binge drinking and dancing. Marinette’s memory strung together clips of vivid and coherent interactions like a dream.

She remembered what dancing with Adrien was like the rest of the night, inhibitions abandoned by the mixture of strong alcohol and their recent sexual encounter. Their new dancing style was like a sparring match; Marinette twisting and twirling away, daring Adrien to close the gap and match her motions. He never could turn down a challenge, or pass up an opportunity to show off.

“WOAH, GET A ROOM YOU TWO” Nino shouted above his music, as they rolled against each other.

Marinette vaguely recollected at one point during the evening being sent a drink by Jagged Stone, who had arrived after the attack with a cluster of groupies. The foursome joined their posse for a time, drinking and petting Fang.

She could recall at some point or another Nino and Adrien yelling about their “Bro Jam” and initiating a drunken dance off in the middle of the floor.

And she definitely remembered Alya climbing onto the newly repaired bar and threatening to perform a strip tease before being tackled to the ground by her boyfriend.

But eventually the crowds starting trickling out of the club and the four of them found themselves waiting on the sidewalk for their Uberpop, groaning like zombies. The hangovers were starting to set in and they were not an attractive bunch at this point. The pain in Marinette’s shoulders had returned with a vengeance. Nino had somehow ruined one of his fancy sneakers earlier in the night–neither he nor Alya would admit to how this happened– And Adrien looked like he was about to pass out or vomit, or both. Only Alya remained intoxicated.

  
After what felt like an eternity, a sleek black car pulled up and Adrien nodded at the driver, too weak to form words. The haggard bunch clambered into the car, toppling onto the leather seats, barely managing to shut the door before they pulled away from the curb.

The driver would take them to Nino’s house, where they would hopefully manage to stumble through his front door before passing out for the next 8 to 48 hours; sweet dreams of sugarplums and vodka tonics dancing in their heads.

\------------------

Bonus:  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Did you know that according to a study done in 2008 only 14% of French males are circumcised?   
> Well me neither until I looked it up yesterday! Knowledge is amazing.
> 
> Other Fun Fact: Jagged Stone was going to send Mari a drink in chapter 3 but that scene was getting way too long and Adrien was already grankle enough.
> 
> Well anyway, it would seem our tale is soon drawing to a close (Can you guys tell I get bored after the sex hahah)  
> There will however be a brief and juicy epilogue serving as chapter 6! It’s 90% written already so it should be coming soon. (Though I have a shitload of work to do this weekend so we’ll see)


	6. The Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien gets a very welcome visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say thank you to everyone who has read this and been supportive. I think I’m a terrible writer so it’s nice to get a little ego boost. 
> 
> I have a LOT of ideas but writing this kind of sucked all the life out of me, so I’m not sure when I’ll be writing again, but I know that I will.
> 
> Thank you thank you to my Betas, hopeless_aromantic and Coral Sydney Melodia Pearl
> 
> You all are peaches, lets do this

Adrien sat on his bed in his pajamas the next night, flipping through the deluge of photos Alya had sent to his phone; Reliving every song, every drink, every moment. Even the evening’s “Brokuma” attack seemed like a rose glass memory to him now.

Unfortunately, they were going to have to stay beautiful memories for a while. When he arrived home from Nino’s that morning, he was greeted by a very angry father. Turns out Gabriel had a moment of generosity and offered The Gorilla his bonus, who had nobly refused the money and spilled the beans.

So, Adrien was confined to his bedroom for the next...million years. Heaving a sigh at his bittersweet fortune, Adrien stared at a picture of a laughing Marinette. Grounded or not, it was totally worth it.

Suddenly, a text from **[Marinette]** lit up the screen. Adrien nearly dropped his phone.

**[What are you doing?]**

All the giddy stomach butterflies and heart palpitations rushed back into his bloodstream. Just because he was grounded didn’t mean he couldn’t spend every second of his sentence talking to his Lady.

[Just reliving the memories from last night...]

Her reply was immediate

**[Well how bout you get up and let me in instead, it’s freezing!!]**

Adrien stared at the message, trying to comprehend what he was reading. Suddenly there was a loud “TAP TAP TAP” at the windows across the room. He shot up, just barely able to register a curvy silhouette leaning against the glass.

Heart beating against his ribs, he slid across the floor on his sock feet, scrambling to reach the latch on the window. He smacked into the window pane and heard a snort of laughter from outside. Adrien unlatched the window and threw it open with one hand, rubbing his shoulder with the other, and watched with wide eyes as Ladybug stepped into his bedroom, lazily swinging her yoyo.

She walked right past him, casually strolling into the room, taking in her surroundings.  
“You really do have an amazing bedroom.” She cooed, leaning against his foosball table.

“Uhhhh...thank you.” _‘holy shit holy shit holy shit’_

“Well?” Ladybug crossed her arms and smirked. “Did you miss me?”

Adrien found his brain inconveniently unresponsive, and coherent sentences were out of the question. “Uh...ahem..mm..yes–yeah?”

Ladybug smiled and meandered around while she spoke, “Good. Nino told Alya who told me that you were under lockdown, so...I figured I had to make a house call.” She stopped next to his bed. Adrien had not left his position at the window, clinging to it for support. He didn’t trust his legs to carry his weight.

“Uhhgf?” Was the only sound he could produce.

A bright, hearty laugh echoed across the lofty bedroom. “Well. I can see I’ve intimidated you a little, I’ll take off the mask so you can relax.” Slowly she let the transformation melt away, and Marinette was left standing in his room, next to his bed, in only her _underwear_. “Is this better?”

Adrien sunk to the floor, hissing in a breath as his weight fell onto his freshly bruised kneecaps.

Another bout of siren laughter played across her lips as she sat back on his bed. She rubbed the Egyptian cotton sheets and patted the spot next to her. “Here, Kitty Kitty.”

Ignoring the burning pain shooting up his bones, Adrien crawled towards the bed on all fours–partly because it was sexy, and partly because he still couldn’t stand up.

He knelt on the ground in front of her and ran a hand up her slender calf. He purred against her as she reached her fingers down to play in his hair. Her eyes were dark with anticipation as he slowly, so slowly, brushed his lips across her leg, stopping to plant a gentle bite on the inside of her thigh.

_‘One million years of this? I could live with that.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA HA HAA I’M SO SORRY, except that I’m really not at all. My major goal for writing fanfiction is to corrupt all of you, so I’m here to encourage your sinful imaginations!!   
> Yes, I leave you with a cliffhanger because I want you to finish it yourself!!! Pull up a chair, stare at the wall and imagine how YOU want this scene to end. Hate me or whatever but I’m promoting creativity. 
> 
> If you need a head start, your prompt is: Cunnilingus. 
> 
> Enjoy, ya Nasties <3 The Unoriginal Sinner


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